I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
