Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
