So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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