You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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