See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
so much tequila, so little girl.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
