He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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