it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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