I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize