i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
