Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
