2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
