She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
