this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
