Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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