I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize