where am i from again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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