Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
