I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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