Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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