whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
