I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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