I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
