My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
