Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
no, he came in my armpit
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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