I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize