Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
