Whod you bang
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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