My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
