Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
