You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
