But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
