I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize