I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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