You're my little dorito
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
