Me too!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
