We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
