So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
