I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
