I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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