I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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