Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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