Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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