you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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