My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
