His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
