He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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