At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
