I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
