I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
