He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ladies don't puke and tell
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
