I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
