so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
