You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
