Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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