Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
