I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
