Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
