woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
