all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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