Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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