Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
