alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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