The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
