Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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